Fuckin' Sarah And Her SmartAss Fuckin' Mouth
by chelzischmidt
Summary: James gets turned on when Kendall curses. Who can blame him? Kames/Oneshot


**Yesterday was 11/11/11! Did u make a wish? :) I'm writing this story after watching that uStream the guys made by accident. YES, I LEFT OUT A LOT OF DIALOGUE, AND YES, I MAY HAVE MIXED UP SOME PEOPLE'S LINES, but wtf, I'm not perfect.**

** Disclaimer: I do not own anything, especially the title, which I owe to Kendall. **

'Fuckin' Sarah and Her Smart-Ass Fuckin' Mouth'

James sighed. He was exhausted. He had such a busy schedule, with acting, and then the 'Better With You' tour, as well as shooting a music video for 'Music Sounds Better With You.' And now, with the free time he had, he was going to do a blasted uStream. Damn Logan and his idiotic ideas. It wasn't that James hated his fans, no, because without them he wouldn't have been sitting there, but sometimes a guy needs a break.

The boys entered the room, and sat down in front of the laptop.

'Why is it so dark?' Logan wondered. James couldn't help but agree; the room was freakishly dark. How the heck were they supposed to do a uStream in such darkness?

The boys started a conversation about Production and their idiotic ways. Carlos seemed furious about how Production was acting and how they tried to 'rule' BTR.

'And _now_ it's important to them. I mean, fucking Sarah and her smart-ass fuckin' mouth.'

James whipped his head around and stared at Kendall, not because he cursed, but rather because of how sexy those words sounded. Sure, he'd heard Kendall curse multiple times before, but that was just to hot to handle. Hell, he could imagine Kendall growling that into his ear, while pounding into him senseless. His dick twitched at the thought. _Oh...no_. James was already half hard at the thought. He brought his mind quickly back to reality, and immediately pieced together what they were talking about.

'Production fucked us up, and now Production's bitching us out,' he said, relieved as Carlos nodded in agreement.

To his surprise, Kendall, who was rather talkative previously, had fallen completely silent.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

'Production fucked us up, and now Production's bitching us out.'

More beautiful words have never fallen out a man's mouth. Kendall blushed at the thought, thankful for the darkness. James was beautiful, he knew, but when he cursed, which was rare, he sounded so adorable; and Kendall would have given anything to fuck him senseless.

Damn James with his good looks and sexy voice.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

After the phone call with Jen and Kelly, James got up from his seat and followed the others to the seat across the room, trying to hide his half-erection, that absolutely refused to go away, because Kendall looked **hot** in that red plaid shirt.

'You know what would be better? If we did it at the fucking hotel,' Kendall said.

He began to bite his nails. This was not good, not good at all. He shouldn't be having visions of Kendall and him 'doing it' at the hotel, and he definitely couldn't run off to the bathroom to jack-off, because, well, he only had like five minutes. He concentrated on what Carlos was saying, once again about the Big Time Movie and how production was shitting up their lives.

'Fucking dungeon, cellar, basement place,' he agreed, and couldn't help but wonder about the things Kendall could do to him if they were in that dungeon together and _alone_.

_FUCKING __DAMN __YOU __KENDALL, _James thought vehemently as his dick sprung to full life.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Kendall whipped out his iPhone and tweeted that the uStream was about to start. When he was finished, he ignored Logan and his random singing, and focused on James instead. He was helping with the lighting, but he seemed to be moving rather...disjointedly. Kendall frowned and focused on him, trying to figure out the problem.

Then he saw it. _Holy __fuck._

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

James made it. He lived through the uStream, thankfully. Except for when Kendall wanted to date Lady Gaga. The conversation went a little like this:

Kendall: You guys think I could get a date with Lady Gaga?

Logan: Absolutely not

Carlos Maybe if she's dressed like she was for that, uh… that one award show.

Kendall: What if I called myself Mr. Dada?

James had to use every single drop of his energy to keep himself from shouting, 'BE MY MR. DADA, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!'. Besides that incident, he thought that the uStream went pretty okay.

They shut off the uStream, and James hurried off in the direction of the bathroom.

He entered the bathroom and shut the door. He zipped down his pants quickly and gripped his erection tightly. He was so close to relieving himself, when...

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Kendall turned around, and when he turned back, James had disappeared.

'Where's James?' he asked Logan, who pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

_Of __course. __Where __else __would __he __be?_ An evil smirk grew on Kendall's face. He hurried down the short hallway to the bathroom.

'James!' he yelled, banging on the door. When there was no response, he tried the door handle and to his surprise, it was open. He entered and saw James there, leaning against the wall, erection in his hand, looking embarrassed.

'Oh Jamie, couldn't you have waited?'

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

James was astonished when Kendall kneeled down, and kissed the tip of his erection. A moan escaped and Kendall grinned evilly. James wanted it so bad, and Kendall was taking so...fucking...long. 'Kendall!' he hissed at the blonde.

And when the blonde was ready to do it, ready to make James moan and beg like a slut, there it comes, from the other side of the door, SARAH'S FUCKING VOICE.

'Guys, I need to speak with you.' She shouted down the hallway.

Kendall groaned, matching James' feelings perfectly. 'Sorry, Jamie boy. Her majesty awaits.'

The boys exited the bathroom, after James zipped up, ignoring the looks on Logan and Carlos' face.

Sarah looked furious when they reached her. 'Did you know that the uStream was on BEFORE you guys started?'

All four boys were shocked.

'What?' Kendall stepped forward and asked.

'Yeah. So, your fans heard your entire rant about the movie and production, and basically everything. Oh, and now, I'm 'the bad guy.' You should see twitter. If you search 'fucking Sarah and her smart-ass fucking mouth', you'll get a lot of people, especially rushers paying 'tribute' to the band, by tweeting and retweeting.'

Kendall snickered. 'I knew I always loved my rushers.'

Sarah narrowed her eyes, and began to give them a long lecture. James zoned out and instead thought of that almost-blow job. What went on there? Kendall randomly pops in, and almost gives James a blow job? Was that normal life? Were both he and Kendall gay? He didn't care. All he knew was that he wanted Kendall's dick inside of him. James tried to listen to Sarah and her 'smart-ass fuckin' mouth' as Kendall so rightly put it, but all he heard was blah, blah, blah.

When she had finally finished, the boys trooped back into the room, frustrated and somewhat famished.

'Guys, our break ends in half an hour. I'm heading off to get some food. You wanna come?' Logan asked.

'Yeah. I'll come. I'm starving.' Carlos said as he grabbed his phone and walked off with Logan while James and Kendall shook their head.

Kendall and James sat there, mulling over what Sarah had said. At least, that's what James _thought_ they were doing.

That's the reason why he yelped when Kendall leaned over and massaged his crotch. His erection was fully raging once more as Kendall zipped him down.

James gasped as Kendall grasped his rigid member and licked it. He melted when the blond placed his mouth over James' member.

'Fuck...Kendall,' he moaned as the blond bobbed his head up and down, and he was using his tongue.

James looked down involuntarily as he intertwined his fingers with those beautiful blond tresses, and the softness of it all, the hotness enveloping his member, everything, sent him over the edge. Kendall swallowed it all, and sat back.

Without giving James a breather, he straddled him, the brunet groaning in anticipation as his bare rump brushed against Kendall's clothed erection. He kissed James, and their tongues clashed, fighting for dominance. Kendall's hand ran down James' shirt, moving under it and pulling, or rather, attempting to pull it off.

'Why the fuck do you wear two jerseys?' Kendall muttered as the jerseys got tangled up, but finally came off. He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, then stood up and took off his pants and underwear.

James' breath hitched when he saw the beautiful blond standing stark naked in front of him. James pulled off his remaining clothes and lay down, Kendall straddling him once more.

'You really want this, don't you?' Kendall whispered.

James nodded helplessly, hips bucking involuntarily as Kendall ground his pelvis against his. The blond reached down and circled down _there_ with his fingers, making James gasp.

James writhed and shut his eyes as he felt a slightly painful intrusion enter him, but the pain, everything, disappeared as Kendall kissed him. When they stopped, the pain came back, but it was harsher this time, because there were _three fucking fingers_ inside of him. He didn't even feel when the other two entered him.

Kendall pulled out, and instead of those annoying fingers, he placed his dick by James' entrance, and pushed in. James cried out as the same stinging pain enveloped his body, this time worse than before. Kendall leaned down and captured James' mouth in his, taking away the pain as James got lost in the kiss, in the heat of Kendall's mouth. Before he knew it, Kendall was pushing in and out of him, and it felt so good, he forgot about the pain.

'Fuck, James, you're so fucking tight.' Kendall groaned as he absolutely plowed into James.

And then he hit it. Although 'hit' seemed like an insufficient word. Kendall struck James' prostrate so hard, the brunet saw stars. He arched his back with a loud guttural moan and the Kendall pounded into James' prostrate, evicting inhumane moans from him.

Yet, it was only when he opened his eyes and saw those green eyes staring at him so intensely, that he came. Kendall came seconds later, filling James to the brim.

Kendall collapsed on top of James, both boys feeling weak after that hot sex.

'K-Kendall,' James said, trying to find the energy to talk to the blond. 'What was that? I mean- what are we?'

Kendall blinked and stared at the beautiful boy below him.

'We could be anything you want us to be, James. Once I get sex out of it.'

'So you're using me for the sex?'

Kendall nodded. 'Definitely. And I kinda like you, I guess. And turns me on so fucking much when you curse.'

James laughed. 'So I should fucking talk like this from now fucking on? Because its kinda fucking stupid, but if you fucking want it, I'll fucking give it to you, like the stupid bitch I am.'

Kendall groaned and sat up. 'Fuck you, James.'

James looked at him and laughed when he saw Kendall's erection.

**Voila~~ There ya go. Hoped you liked it :)**


End file.
